Overcoming Gossips

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At times, a spouse or friend may share something negative about others with you.

10 Ways to Handle Gossip in the Workplace

Unless this involves important facts you might not otherwise learn, especially if related to your safety or well-being, consider it backbiting, and avoid it. You may have to be very firm with others to stop them from backbiting. My husband and I find we often grapple with how to address people backbiting about him in the office, something that makes us both upset.

We regularly pray for his protection from harm and the strengthening of his ability to foster unity with those he works with.

The Christian Woman and Gossip

It can also be helpful to begin sharing something positive about the person under discussion instead. Avoiding backbiting can be difficult, since you may be used to talking through issues and expressing frustrations with close friends, family members, and coworkers. If present, would the person spoken about dislike and become unhappy about what you are saying?

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If so, then consider staying quiet. It is better to communicate about issues directly with someone than to speak about others behind their backs.

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The goal in any communication is constructive action, not idle or destructive talk. So, this now brings us back to how this topic applies within a marriage. You may struggle with an issue or relationship that does not involve your spouse. You may need to talk the matter through with your spouse, or even with a close friend, and consult about solutions, with the goal of building understanding and devising constructive actions to take.

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  • Can you do this without backbiting about someone? Can you speak in generalities and not specifics? Are you trying to build intimacy with your partner, and think sharing this information will help? Remember that backbiting will destroy intimacy, not strengthen it.

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    Instead, couples can talk about and agree on how they will communicate respectfully about others when they talk privately together. Spouses often naturally share information about mutual friends and family members. This could include such topics as marriages, divorces, pregnancies, and births. The intent in this case is not harmful—but it is still wise to determine whether the person talked about would want the information shared, and whether any harm could come from passing it on. We have the gift of speech, which we should use with wisdom and appropriate restraint.

    Wisdom often means pausing before speaking, and silently deciding whether your words will cause benefit or harm.

    Dealing with Gossip

    Respect for others means that your speech focuses on appreciation, praise, and tactful but truthful direct communications. The options you have when dealing with a gossiper After you have waited for few days you can do any of the following options based on how important the person is for you and the underlying causes for his gossip. Tell him that you are aware of his doings and that only those who are scared to face one another directly gossip. Most people will apologize and remember your call the next time they decide to gossip about you.

    Make sure not to threat them because threatening will stimulate their anger and this stored anger will be released through more gossiping. In my book The ultimate guide to break any bad habit i explained how negative motivation can have a strong effect on people's behavior. Your call will be the negative motivation element that the person will remember whenever he tries to talk about you Send him my previous article: My article Why do people gossip shows that the only reason behind gossiping are personal flaws.

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    Why Gossip is So Seductive (and How to Avoid It)

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